Vote for The Woodfarm Party!
As the 2015 election reaches fever pitch we figured it was time to let you all read the Woodfarm Party Manifesto.
If you are confused as to who to vote for then have a little look at the one party that makes everything clear. Our main policy is offering luxury holiday cottages in the heart of rural Suffolk to every single man, woman, child and family pet. We will charge for this of course but we publish all of our prices on our website so we are not hiding any financial info from you, not that we are suggesting the other parties are of course!
The main party leaders have been on their tour buses and on the TV debates but we’ve stayed out of this bun fight as they all seem to be getting a little worked up. I have been out campaigning though to the Woodfarm ducks, fish and rabbits and they are all behind me. They love our holiday cottages and although they are all immigrants they are welcome here and they all play their part. Guests love them!
So, our manifesto pledge…
“We promise to deliver luxury Suffolk holiday cottages 365 days of the year from as little as £55 per night. And until the end of election month we are even giving you some fabulous local brews absolutely FREE!”
There you have it! No rubbish, no far-fetching impossible goals that we won’t be able to meet, no massaging the figures, and no discrimination. It’s plain, simple Gold Award-winning, luxury, Five Star Tripadvisor reviewed holiday cottages in the heart of rural Suffolk enabling you to have a very relaxing escape from the norm.
So if you are in a stew over Sturgeon, browned off with Bennett, done with Dave, mardy with Milliband, clapped out with Clegg or naffed off with Nigel, then check out our commitment to you on all the main election issues;
* Holiday cottages for all
We will continue to deliver these lovely self-catering Suffolk holiday cottages with you as we have done throughout the current coalition reign. If you are in any doubt as to our track record, check out our Five Star reviews on Tripadvisor or read through the thousands of testimonials on our website.
We have clean, fresh air and clear skies, with no light pollution. We have FREE bicycles for you to use. Our welcome folders have all the info you need on local doctors surgeries, vets and hospitals. And we have a pack of plasters for dealing with emergencies.
Well, we have tons of info on the local area, educating you on Suffolk and providing you with more holidaymaker information than you could possibly read whilst you are on your holiday or short break with us. We also have an entire website dedicated to educating you on the best places to eat and drink, walk, cycle, shop, visit, have fun etc. Where Do We will tell you everything you need. There are NO tuition fees for this; it is FREE to all.
We let anybody come and have a holiday here but we only let people stay who pay their way, regardless of nationality. We even let other species come! We do not discriminate in any way. The only immigrants who don’t pay anything are the ducks, fish, rabbits, birds, moorhens, pheasants, owls, muntjacs and the bees. They do provide an invaluable service though and any burden to the Woodfarm state such as feeding them is covered by us, not you.
* Child benefit
If you are holidaying with toddlers or even kids in Woodfarm House then there are some great benefits. There are games, bikes, DVDs and we even have Bop It! Kids love it here so there will even be a benefit to you too!
* Benefits system
You are able to relax and escape the norm. Nuff said!
So there you have it; the Woodfarm Manifesto. Now all you need is our vote-winning strap-line; Erm…
“Lovely holiday cottages. In Suffolk. Where it’s really nice”
Ok, it may not be as snazzy as some of the others but we didn’t pay much for it.
If that lot isn’t enough then we are happy to bribe you to win your vote! If you want to get away from the election then we will give you a plethora of delicious ‘local brews’ with growing national notoriety absolutely FREE of charge for the rest of May. All you need to do is use the Voucher Code ‘LOCALBREW’ when making your booking!
* Adnams of Southwold – Perhaps Suffolk’s best known export and a huge hit with our holiday cottage guests!
* Aspall – Fine Cyder from around the corner in… well, Aspall. Again, nationally known and growing in popularity!
* St Peter’s – Great beers from a former Suffolk monastery and the empties are a common sight in our bottle banks.
* James White – Brilliant hedgerow-inspired juices and cordials from nearby Ashbocking. Natural and refreshing.
* Paddy & Scott’s – Superb coffee from Earl Soham. A true independent with a number of branded coffee shops now.
* Butterworth & Sons – Tea smiths producing fine Suffolk tea in small batches in Bury St Edmunds.
So this thirst-quenching basket of goodies will be waiting in your holiday cottage for you for all breaks taken, beginning or ending in May. Simply use the Voucher Code ‘LOCALBREW’ when booking your luxury Spring break.
The contents may vary a little depending on local availability but you can expect two bottles of Adnams, Aspalls and St Peter’s, as well as a large bottle of James White’s juice, a packet of Paddy & Scotts and a box of Butterworth & Son. Woodfarm House bookings will receive more of course, depending on how many people are staying.
So vote with your feet and check out all our prices & availability. Have a good look around the site if you haven’t already, choose your cottage and book your break.
May the best party win!